after Jamaica Kincaid
by Alexia 

When the sun comes up you should too so you have all the time you need to get ready but we both know not even that is enough time; wear makeup; brush and style your hair everyday without a hair out of place; don’t wear too much makeup; don’t wear that, that’s too short; don’t wear that, that’s too covered; don’t wear that you look like a boy; now pucker your lips and suck in your tummy so you look like the models in the magazine; that’s unfair and unrealistic nobody actually looks like that and what’s so wrong about me; believe me you are beautiful but this world refuses to see it; now this is how to hold back tears; this is how to skip meals without passing out; this is how to be on a diet at  the age of 10; this is how a cry without ruining your makeup; this is how to love yourself; this is how to recover from an insult without causing anyone trouble; this is how to stop waiting for a boy and save yourself; this is how to dance in the most uncomfortable shoes while smiling; this is how to have the time of your life without having the time of your life because you don’t want to provoke anyone; this is how to watch over your drink; this is how to know when you’ve been drugged; this is how to say no; this is how a girl should sit; this is how to get someone to ask you out; this is how to cheer at the sidelines of your boyfriends sports game; this is how to give up sports because too many boys watch you play; this is how to notice you’re in a toxic relationship; this is how to break up with someone without breaking their heart; this is how to ignore the fact that he told everyone he broke up with you because of his stupid pride; this is how to hold back tears when they call you a slut when you haven’t even kissed a guy; this is how to smile when they call you a bitch because you finally decided to speak your mind; this is how you roll your eyes when you find a boy looking at places on you he would never look his mother at; this is how you pretend you’re talking on the phone to ignore the older man that just cat called you; this is how to walk away without trembling; this is how to run; what if i’m not fast enough?; then this is how to defend yourself; this is how to bite your tongue when your grandpa makes a sexist joke; this is how to bite your tongue when your stepdad disrespects your mom; this is how you speak your mind when you’ve had enough; this is how to get dirt stains out of polo shirts; this is the amount of spices you put in the meat just like your father likes it; this is how to restrain from punching someone that made a period joke; this is how to be a girl.

I’m Alexia .and I use writing and music to express myself and as a way to voice out my opinions and passions. I’m also in love with tea, butterflies and street art. My aspiration in life is to make as many people as possible feel happy and accepted.

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